Glitter Ain't Always Gold!!

Today, I made a decision to resign from one of my part time jobs. It was paying me good money,  and I had signed on with the intent to save more money.  You see, I'm the type  of person who tries to think ahead and I thought I had a master plan. I didn't have any set hours, just to get the job done....minimum 20 hours a week. Did I mention the pay was good. So I planned that I would save the extra money from this job and really invest in my music. But what I realized that in taking this extra part time, was that it squeezed more time that I didn't have. Most importantly, I was becoming grumpy, angry, and tired that I was squeezing out the time to focus on my music.

MUSIC!!! Epiphany: I realized  that it ain't all about the money! Realizing my mental health and the decrease in my happiness, I resigned from the part time.  I had realized this pattern that I was about to get trapped in the game of money. Now, because of money, I was taking jobs that would, in essence, put me in the same position I was in before...no time or energy for my dream and passion. When I became aware of this, I decided I have to leave. I definitely didn't want the money to start getting good and then get trapped in the game. LOL, I sound like a drug dealer or like I'm in a drug game...but sometimes things can get addictive like that.

I told one of my friends that I'm to the point where I will not sacrifice my happiness or my dreams. It is very important that I'm happy and I know that God wants me happy. I know some people may not understand, but oh well. Since when can you please everyone.

I'm learning and growing throughout this experience. I'm determined to reach my goals and I continue to  make the choice daily...even when I don't feel like it,  I choose to be HAPPY!

Transitions...

It just came to me about the things that I've been going through...rather it just dawned on me.  There was a time in my life where I'd just graduated grad school and was having a difficult time adjusting to  the transition from 6 years of college life (stayed to get my Masters) to  working a full time job. I was tired ALL THE TIME!!

Like, my God parents would be like,what is wrong with you. I would come home from work, completely zonked out. I mean completely drained from the world. At the time, I wasn't savy enough to convey my feelings and my parents just thought I was being lazy. I couldn't really tell them how draining it was being a social worker. How you are pretty much a human garbage can for kid's and parents feelings and limitations. I didn't know how to express my feeling too well to them at that time.

Well now, I'm experiencing much of the same except that I am self aware and more savy. I've done my time in therapy to effectively communicate my feelings and be aware of what I'm going through and so now, I'm able to identify this stage as a growing pain...a transition.

A transition from depending on a full-time job  to depending upon God and my abilities to sustain myself....all unfamiliar turf. But like i got the hang of balancing in social work, so I will get the hang of this.

 I'm  gonna track this transition and these feelings by recording. I have decided to record every week or at least write 3 songs every week....my next full length album will document this journey for sure. I'm gonna use the positive and negative feelings/experiences for my muse to create heartfelt music...there-by helping myself thru this process as well as others.

I'd like to hear about how you've handled some sort of transition in your life..

Music as a full time career-->

I had a talk with my father yesterday about some feelings I've been having about pursuing music full time. I was quite honest with him, when I expressed that I don't like that I have to do things to get a paycheck. I guess that's one of my biggest adjustments right now. He quite frankly responded, baby girl you gonna have to until he's rich or I'm rich. 

Yeah, I guess going into to this thing full throttle, the excitement is waning, the honeymoon period is over, and reality is kicking in. The reality  is that until it manifests, I still have to work the part time job for the bills. I think I hate HAVING to work the part time job. Its not that I don't love what I do part-time,working with children and families...I love it...I just don't like HAVING to do something that's all. I hope you get my drift.

Honestly, I don't want to get into a cycle about making money and putting the full time job of music to the side because of it. I guess I'm still finding my balance and adjusting to this situation. I'm coming to find that I've been having more questions then answers though.

But I will continue pressing on. My hope is that all the hard work will keep me humble and appreciative once I'm famous.Until then, the grind continues...

I'm Back:)--->Is A Music Career A Real Job?

Okay, so I'm snowed in and I just finished watching the Julie & Julia movie...a movie about the famous cook book writer, Julia Childs, and a blogger who took the journey through Julia Child's cooking world and I just realized that I've neglected blogging about my own experience. I neglected all the fun and not so fun experiences about my journey  and quest as an independent artist through the music world. There have been so many things happening and time has been moving so fast...I sincerely apologize. So I'm back and I promise I'll do better...after all a promise is a promise:)

So what's life like as a full time artist?!!  Hmmm... its definitely different..it has its perks, but it also has its challenges.  I'll be tellin you about the good and the bad along the way. First things first, I poppa freaks all the ladies...lol just kidding (Biggie Rap)...seriously though, first things first, one of the challenges I've endured thus far is adjusting to others perception of what actually qualifies as a job. You'd be amazed how many people have actually made comments like, "she don't have a real job." Oh, I can't forget my favorite, " hey can you do this, cuz its not like you have a real job." Yeah, it caught me off guard and I will say that it hurt too.

People have in their mind that if you're not working for a company or someone that you don't have a "real job." It seems that people just don't understand what it takes to work for yourself as a full-time artist pursuing music full time. If I listed all the things I do in being a full time artist...hmmm....just to name a few--- I still wake @ 6 am:), searching for gigs, doing publicity (searching for interviews, etc.), following-up on all emails/inquiries, graphic design/etc for emails, shipping cds to people/countries, scheduling photo shoots, negotiating contracts/gigs/etc, writing, arranging, recording music, band rehearsals, vocal rehearsals, selling cds, part-time job (pay for the bills)etc...ok thats enough for now...its alot especially when you're only one person.

So pardon me, but I find it offensive when people belittle my pursuit to pursue what I love when majority of people are comfortable going to work everyday for something they don't love. I definitely take it personally not just because I'm an artist, but because I have musicians and artists that I work with who's grind is so hard. I respect them and I appreciate them so much and I know how hard they work.

So the next time, you ask someone what they do for a living and they reply saying they are a drummer, a vocalist, etc...even if you don't understand it, respect their grind and the heart it takes to pursue your passion in hopes of eating off of it.